if u hate google so much y do u hav google mail????? (from Jamie)

Dear beloved fan,

Well have you ever heard the old saying "keep your friends close, and your enemies closer"? Well whoever said that was an idiot. The only way I want to be close to my enemies is if their under the floorboards. And believe me, several are.

On a separate note, if you are looking for a good read, I would suggest a rather marvellous little book called the Dictionary. Judging from your spelling, it is something you are unacquainted with.

Now, Sesame Street is starting, and I must go eat toast.

Toodaloo,
Betty.

 
oh miss betty do u really like sesame street? (no name left. so for the purposes of this whatever we shall refer to the sender as Mint Chocolate Covered Poppet.)

Dear Mint Chocolate Covered Poppet,

I like Sesame Street very much. That's why my dear webmaster, Stella, said "Betty also like's Sesame Street". If I didn't like Sesame Street she might have said "Betty doesn't like Sesame Street", or may have simply not mentioned the second greatest street Betty has ever set foot on.

Hope this answers your question which you clearly put a lot of thought into, if you didn't taste so minty fresh I might have been annoyed by your stupidity,

Betty.
 
Why don't you come round tonight and see what the hottest guy in search has under his suit for the sexiest woman ever to have lived.

Jeevsey, please, there's a time and a place.
 
First off, welcome. And thanks for opening a Google Mail account! We think Google Mail is different. So to help you get started, you may want to:
  • Check out the new Google Mail Tour in our Getting Started section. It's good for, well, getting started.
  • Visit our Help Center. Here you can browse frequently asked questions, search for answers and learn about some of Google Mail's cool features, like labels, keyboard shortcuts and free POP access.
  • Import your contacts to Google Mail from Yahoo! Mail, Outlook, Hotmail and other programs. Then email your friends with your brand new Google Mail address.
    • As you're using Google Mail, you might also see some ads or related links. We believe that you shouldn't have to share your inbox with large, blinking, irrelevant ads. Google Mail's small text ads are matched by computers, and designed to be relevant to the messages you're viewing. Which means for once, you might even find ads to be interesting and useful. Users have often told us that the more they use Google Mail, the more they discover its added benefits--such as being able to find any message instantly or to manage all your contacts in one place. So go ahead and give it a try. In the meantime, we'll keep working on making Google Mail the best email service around. Thanks for joining us for the ride. We hope you'll enjoy Google's approach to email.
     

     Thanks,
    The Google Mail Team     (from those only one's bottom may speak of)

Betty likes to feel welcomed. But I'll make clear to you right now, Betty opening an account with you has to be kept shh shhh. We can't have this getting out.

Hope you don't get bitten by a rabies infected cabbage loving three headed dog, from whose bottom you probably came from, any time soon. I prefer lettuce.

Betty.
 
RETURN TO THE BEST HOMEPAGE EVER TO HAVE EXISTED ON THIS FEEBLE PLANET